I want to tell you thank you for all the memories and discoveries you brought me. The amount of busy-bee work, sweet moments with friends via text, celebrating birthdays and my impromptu solo trips to the mall, Marshalls and Starbucks for my Venti Berry Hibiscus refresher, with lemonade, keep the water, half the sweetener, lots of ice. SLURP! Aaahhhh.... so good! Oh, and thank you for Barista Brianna (proper name),who works at the Starbucks just a hop, skip and jump from my work. Who by the way knows how to make my drink juuuuuuusssst right! Yes, September, thank you for her as well.
My days are long and my nights are short, but my mind is constantly full of check lists, memories and work-related projects that constantly have me envisioning my next move before my body can follow. When ever I feel this overwhelming amount of production, I can either do one, two, okay, three things (tops!) to resolve the tension.
My first option? Cry like a banshee (in Irish legend-a female spirit whose wailing warns of an impending death in a house.) Second option? Clean my closet. Not kidding. There's something incredibly therapeutic for me when I clean my closet.
Yes, it's a big journey ahead, but I feel ready to take on the world when I start sorting through piles of new clothes, clothes I'll never wear again, clothes to give away to the Goodwill and clothes that offer the "what was I thinking?" question that even Goodwill would send back.
Every time I slough off another piece of clothing from my wardrobe into a giveaway pile, I feel a sense of unnecessary thoughts, negative self-talk and gibberish from the critics in my life slough away with it. If either of these two options fail me, I enlist option three-- hit the gym! Yes, the gym. I have actually enjoyed the mental and physical release of losing myself in a world of sweat and iron.
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My personal journey with the gym truly started in January of this year (2013), just after my sweet boyfriend ("E") purchased me a gym membership for Christmas just one month prior. Now before you start thinking the worst of "E," just know he didn't seek to make a point when purchasing a gym membership as a gift. It wasn't until much influencing and assurance on my part that this was the one and only gift I wanted for Christmas, did I receive this gift. It was expensive after all, a two-year membership. (Watch out!)
Once I signed up and took the first step into the gym, I got nervous. In my eyes I was about 40 pounds overweight and hating every ounce of it. I lost myself in my concerns and worry of life, that I had over eaten and was under active in anything other than the tasking bicep curl of food-on-a-plate-to-mouth-movement my fork trainer supported me with.
It wasn't before long when a mirror became that ever cliche enemy, and my once favorite person became a stranger. I was irritated all the time, disgusted with myself, and cried crocodile tears for everything and nothing at all.
I was embarrassed to try on clothes or even stand next to my supporting and loving boyfriend."How did I get this big," I would often yell out. I would slap my stomach and not in the friendly slap a cute guy's butt sort of way-- No, I was slapping it as a mental reminder and self-inflicted pain type of way. Talk about harsh! But I didn't like it, and was mad that it was there. And then, it hit me hard. I didn't know how I was going to do this, but I was going to make the stranger in the mirror disappear.
As of right now, I'm currently down 13 pounds (inner cheer!) and have completed two mini goals I set up for myself. During this time, I have stumbled upon some great fitness routines, exercises and help from two savvy individuals right out of Southern California. Their names are Karena and Katrina and they have their own fitness and personal success empire that has grown into a large support system for girls all over the world, and I'm thankful to say I'm a part of their wonderful community. Check them out here: Tone It Up! These two girls have both had their fair share of life-taunting and traumatic experiences. K&K have overcome many obstacles to reach their fitness, emotional and health goals, all the while belting out a few banshee crying moments I'm sure. But through it all however, they use the gym as their ultimate release and it's made a big impact on how they view the world, and let me tell you, it's changed my view of the world as well.
My gym days are my own. I allow it to be my "Lisa time." It's my one, or, two-hour freedom from life's worries and complaints. And you know what? It works! The tension around my neck literally melts away during each mile, pound of weight, jumping jack and minute spent working out. I receive the ultimate form of mental clarity and gain one step closer to my ultimate weight loss goal. (see what I did there?)
If you're stuck in a rut or not sure how to kick-start your fitness goals, I would say keep you journey light and airy. Pressing your mind with questions during a workout will only cause defeat, and when you battle the burn, the only thing that gets burned, is you.
I've learned this lesson the hard way, but have found that working in tandem with my burdens has allowed me to jump over each one and leave a fun trail of past memories and worry behind me. Good luck to all you goal-setters out there! You can do this. Be patient with yourself. Enjoy the trail you leave behind. You got this! ;)
oh! and just in time for a mini protein boost, these bad boys showed up in the mail!
Lisa
