October 23, 2015

Beauty & Abuse

"What's one thing you would change about yourself? Be it interior or exterior..."

When Actress Debra Messing was asked this question, she answered, "my nose." 

On her first movie with another famous actor, they did a side by side scene, and the director yelled, 'cut! How quickly can we get a plastic surgeon in here, her nose is ruining my shot.'

She laughs now at the remark, but the truth is, this was her very first film, and a comment like that regarding something she has no control over, has stayed with her years later. 

Some times, we don't realize how our words can impact other people. 
Some times our own internal dialogue can be just as bad. 

Many men and women are attacked daily by what they look like. 
And as we see in Hollywood, a lot of people will turn to plastic surgeons to destroy how they were naturally made, to create an ideal version of how they wish they were born; thus altering their aesthetics in an irreversible way. Their new reality is drastically altered, but the truth is, many people will still have something to say about their "new" version of beauty. 
Our current world has been turning towards a darker sense of communication. 

We quickly judge others and attack them without understanding their story. 

We aren't born into a world of darkness. It's bright and unfamiliar, yes, but it's not dark. It is over time, that with poor teaching, lack of care, harsh words, and lack of love, that what we see with our eyes is actually indicative of what our hearts feel. 

Ok, so maybe you disagree with this... You say,  'You handle things your way, and
 I'll handle things my way... ' 

That's fine, but think about your self awareness at this very moment. 
Are you upset because you're the giver of harsh words? 
Do you quickly say how stupid something is, how ugly people are, or even spit dark slurs? 

Bad words and thoughts are easy to think up. 
But it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. 

So what if we reversed this negative attitude and tried harder to be kinder, yes, tried harder...

I believe we would hit a road block.

When we get so comfortable being grumpy and internally dark, it's easier to use that broken crutch, than it is to put in the work to find y(our) happy. 

But the next time you see someone get laughed out for having a big nose, picked on for being born fat or, very skinny, judged for their inability to play sports, 
outcasted for being too sensitive, or attacked for believing in Christ, think first. 

Each of these people may be silently suffering. Abuse, be it verbally, mentally, physically or spiritually, doesn't see race, it doesn't see gender, it doesn't see age, and it doesn't see religion. Abuse breaks the heart, it torments the mind and it breaks the spirit. 

We all fall victim to abuse at some point, and we all can be the abuser in some way. 
It's tough, but it's important. Hold your tongue. 
But if you can't, it's ok to ask for help.